Divorce Do's and Don'ts
How to Prepare for a Divorce in NY
When it comes to divorce matters, it’s important to understand the challenges a divorcee will be facing. An experienced attorney from our law firm can assist you in such situations by providing suggested techniques on avoiding potential risks of a negative outcome. Your priorities are our priorities, so we want to make sure we are doing all we can to help you find an agreeable resolution to this stressful situation.
Tips to Help Ease Divorce
Divorce can feel like walking a tightrope. You may be understandably upset or, even more likely, understandably unfamiliar with family law litigation. The key to feeling safe and settled at the end of it is to anticipate challenges and thinking a couple steps ahead.
- DO try to be as reasonable with your soon-to-be ex-spouse as much as possible. Keep in mind that being reasonable does not mean sacrificing your beliefs or best interests. Just try to see matters from their perspective as well.
- DO remember to support your children during this process. One sit-down session is often not enough for them to fully comprehend what is happening. Be prepared to have multiple talks – as many as they need.
- DO talk to your spouse ahead of time about when and where you will be seeing or visiting your children as visitation agreements are finalized. Never surprise them.
- DO discuss child support and spousal support with the far future in mind. You could conceivably be paying or receiving monies for the rest of your life – make sure it is a fair amount that does not leave you vulnerable to a financial crisis. You may need an attorney's intervention to keep this discussion balanced.
- DO be honest about the extent of your assets. Attempting to hide something will only slow the process down, as the bank or investigators will discover your property eventually.
- DO consider all of your legal options when ending your marriage. Divorce might not be the only or best choice for you. An annulment or legal separation, for example, could work better for everyone.
What not to do during your divorce
For everything that should be done during a divorce, there might be two other things that should be avoided. Successful divorce agreements often boil down to knowing and understanding the differences in the options you are weighing.
- Do NOT use your children as your therapist. Your children should not be in the middle of your disputes with your spouse or the other parent. If you want to talk to anyone, either talk to your attorney or perhaps a family therapist.
- Do NOT criticize your spouse or the other parent to your children. Again, your children should not know of the issues between the adults. Keep the divorce or family issues between yourself and the other party.
- Do NOT use your children as a messenger between you and your spouse or the child’s other parent. The children are already going through enough in dealing with the entire situation. They simply do not need more problems during these difficult times.
- Do NOT become dependent on drugs or alcohol during these difficult times. This type of behavior will undoubtedly have consequences which may affect your parental rights.
- Do NOT pay your support obligations late. Whether it is child support or spousal support, these late payments will cause unnecessary stress between you and the other party that could ultimately lead to legal repercussions.
- Do NOT engage in destroying, selling or transferring any property of the other spouse or property deemed to be marital. These behaviors will only cause problems with you before the judge.
- Do NOT bring new relationships into your home during your parenting time. This behavior could have a negative impact on your children’s lives and may affect your parental rights.
- Do NOT bring up the past with your spouse. This will undoubtedly cause more issues and strife between you and your spouse, and it certainly is not constructive.
- Do NOT blame your children for your divorce or family issues. Your children may feel like victims during these difficult times; again, keep issues between you and your spouse.
- Do NOT attempt to represent yourself. Hire an attorney who is experienced and knowledgeable in divorce and family law. You will definitely save money and grief in the long run by hiring an attorney, and potentially save months of your time.
Dealing with divorce situations is never easy, especially if you try to represent yourself. Our group of dedicated lawyers possesses years of experience in all types of divorce.
Call (631) 880-6440 for a free consultation.